first cell phone EVER!!!!

so this guy walks in and has a sheet of paper with him and proudfully claims that hes finally decided to get a cell phone....as in, hes never owned one before.....he asks a few understandably confusing questions, which i answer, and then he shows me his REAL intelligence and points to the little line near the ear piece and asks if thats where his ear would go?  (are you for real?????) have you never used a PHONE before, or just never used a CELL PHONE before.....i respond "yes, thats correct" and he says thank you that he will think about it. appparently he's not ready to actually BUY the phone he's finally ready to get!

just buy a digital camera already!

so a customer comes in with a problem with their phone, we send it to the repair center, it comes back, the customer returns to get their phone, so while i was activating their phone from service, i make conversation and ask what the problem with the original phone was, she explains how the phone would randomly turn off, or freeze or run really slow at times. so i said i understand, and that obviously they shouldn't do that and hopefully this one would be much better.  i ask her if she needs me to transfer her phone book to her "new" phone, she says yes, and asks if i would transfer her pictures as well, i say of course....after starting the transfer, the device tells me that there are 438 pictures on her phone, knowing that this will take at least 15mins, i return to the cust and ask her if she has a memory card, she says "yes, its at home, why?", i explain that she has an excessive amount of pictures on the phone and am 99% sure this is why she was having issues with her old phone. she says "oh, i didnt think i had that many on there, haha" and i said, well yes you do and i defintely recommend putting them on a memory card otherwise she'll have the same problem with this new phone. she understood and then asked me about how many she had on there, i told her approx 438, she asked if that was a lot, i said "No, a lot would be like 35-40 pictures! You have an over excessive amount of them on your phone. Maybe invest in a digital camera? Or definitely use that memory card you have at home!"

in a hurry????

me: thank you for calling ________, how can i help you?
cust: hi can you help me figure out whats wrong with my cell phone?
me: sure, whats it doing or not doing?
cust: well im not sure, but its not working right.
me: well if you don't know whats wrong then i would need to see the phone, can you bring it in to us?
cust: well im close by to your store, but i have to pick up my son in 10mins, will it be fast?
me: i couldn't tell you ma'am, i need to see the phone.
cust: well, should i come by first or pick up my son first?
me: (omg really??????????) um, i'd probably go pick up your son then come in.
cust: oh, ok, thank you
me: you're welcome

....why does every day in retail feel like Monday?!?!?!

me: thank you for calling______, how can i help you?
customer: yea, i have a problem. my cell phone isnt on and i was wondering why?
me: ok, do you mean the phone wont power on, or it won't make phone calls?
customer: neither
me: ok, is the battery in the phone?
customer: i don't know, i didn't take it out or anything.
me: ok, do you know if its charged?
customer: well i charged it before.
me: when was before?
customer: i cant remember
me: did you charge it last night?
customer: i think i did, what would that matter any way?
me: (oh my god, i hate my life right now) well sir, if you could please bring the phone in, we might have to take a look at it to see what the problem is.
customer: i don't understand why you cant fix this over the phone, why do i have to come all the way to your store?
me: well sir, i would love to fix this over the phone, but i need to physically see the phone, im sorry.
customer: ok, then i guess i'll have to bring it by.
me: excellent sir, please stop by at your convience.
customer: ok, where is your store?
me: we're located at _____? (giving them the exact address)
customer: where is that exactly?
me: ?????  on ______ road, right by the Best Buy.
customer: where?
me: do you know where the Best Buy is on _____ road?
customer: yes, i've been there many times.
me: ok, we're right by it, if your facing Best Buy, we're located to the left of the store.
customer: what store?
me: the Best Buy sir, the one you've been to "many times".
customer: oh yea, i know that one. ok, we'll see you soon.
me: excellent!!! (i hope to god, hes not driving himself here)

*grumble grumble* morons i tell you, MORONS!!!!!

so appartently, if you call any retail store and need to describe something over the phone, make sure that you describe it in the absolute most completely vague way possible, for example, if your calling to describe a cell phone, please make sure the only noteable physical features you tell me about are the fact that it has a "screen" and the keyboard is below it. Please keep in mind that every single cell phone available since 2001 has fallen into that exact description!!!!!! God, how i weep for the future generations that might have to be led by the exact same brains that are in that kid that just called and described that phone to me!

It never fails.....

....so literally right after I made the decision to start a blog about all the just plain stupid ignorant customers I help, while at work of course, I am confronted with yet another attempt by fate to drive me beyond the point of sanity and wanting to jump accross the counter and live that persons life for them.....*sigh* so keeping in mind that this lady I'm helping is very polite, as well as respectful, she just doesnt get it...trying to get simple information out of her, tested my ability to smile and nod while I was raging and infuriated by her sheer incompetitance, inside. This simple transaction that should't have taken more that 3mins, completed itself within about 15mins. So she left and all was returned to my normal world, however, I wasn't prepared for what would happen next.....this same customer, about an hour later, calls my work and asks for the manager, she said she was in earlier and was helped by a kind of "heavy-set gentleman", I immediately think "she just called me fat and didn't realize that I was the one that originally helped her". So while trying to figure out why she is calling back, she continues to tell me that she has made an error when she was in and gave me the wrong information, so the payment she made went to the an acct that she had not intended it to go. As this is all a little too familiar, she reveals to me that the error she made today, is the exact same thing that she messed up last month, THE EXACT SAME THING!!!!!!!!!!!!! This hurts for 2 reasons, one; because my brain stopped breathing, and two; because I had to fix this same thing last month when she messed it up. And the worst part about it was when I fixed it last month, it took almost 2 hours to solve and had me on the phone with cust serv trying to explain to mulitiple people the issue. This was just a small insite to how my day was going to play out.......many more posts to follow about the crazy people I encounter each and every day in retail!!!